By Cooper Wood
Fucking Angus. Bad, bad. No sleep. Breath stinks. Stinky Angus. Sleep, go sleep, dummy. Stinky. Fucking stinky. Go way. Fucking stinky.
Hello Morgan.
Bad, fucking stinky.
Morgan!
Hello.
That’s better. Bad night?
Bad. Fucking stinky.
Who, Angus?
Damn fucking stink
Now Morgan!
No sleep, Stinky.
Did he get under your blanket?
Stinky. Fucking stinky.
OK, Morgan, I get it. Angus has bad breath. Halitosis. Can you say halitosis?
Hello two sits.
No, halitosis.
Hello two tits.
Ha, you’re getting warmer. Ready to come out?
Out.
Get on my arm. Ouch! Not so tight. Going to have to trim your claws.
Ouch!
I promise not to hurt this time.
ANGUS!
Angus! Bad dog, go out.
IN! CAGE IN!
OK, OK. Here we go.
Fucking Angus.
Sorry now I ever taught you that word.
Oh Morgan look, you dropped another feather.
Thanks to Diane Allis of Greenfield for the idea behind this.